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About the Author

When I was asked to write something for the website, I hesitated. Why did I hesitate? Was it because I am not comfortable sharing my reflections about God with the Holy Cross community? Or was it because I was unsure that I had anything of value to share?

I think we spend much of our lives afraid. We are afraid of getting sick, of being hurt, even sometimes of falling in love. Many of us spend the majority of our time too afraid to evaluate our lives, our faith, or our relationships with others and the world for fear that we will not like what we find. We fear that our faith is not strong enough, or not sincere enough. I think it is human nature to doubt what cannot be proven, but isn't that what having faith in something beyond facts is all about?

Jesus' family and friends doubted who he was. They doubted that someone they knew, the "carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon" (Mark 6:3) was the Messiah. They could not believe what Jesus was claiming, and the people that knew Jesus the most intimately "took offense at him" (Mark 6:3.) Ever since I took Understanding Jesus with Father Reiser last fall, the Bible and the stories in the Gospel especially have felt differently to me. I have come to realize that the disciples, those who followed the living Jesus most closely, were not perfect. They did not understand Jesus' message or true significance, even after his death. Therefore, we are not expected to be perfect if those who lived and followed Jesus most intimately were no closer to perfection.

God is calling us all the time. The Lord speaks to us throughout our days and even in our sleep. We just have to open our hearts and ears to listen. I have been on a spiritual journey throughout the summer. I am privileged enough to be working with two wonderful Sisters of Saint Joseph, as well as having had an opportunity to travel with thirty other students to Mexico a few weeks ago on our immersion trip. It is difficult sometimes to see God, that much I am sure of. When I see the suffering of the children, both locally and abroad, I often grieve and ask God why. What possible purpose can the suffering of so many people serve in this world? As I wrestle with these issues, almost each and every day it seems, my faith is strengthened, "for whenever I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10.) You see, the answers are all around us.

Faith is a journey. We are never alone on this journey. If we are open to others and with ourselves, wonderful conversations and insights often emerge. On the question of the suffering of so many, I have recently begun to understand that God only provided the resources of the world; it is mankind who is distributing them unequally. God calls us each and every day to commit our hearts to the values of justice and catholic social teachings, but we are often too afraid to listen. Listening to God, after all, often means changing our lives dramatically.

In closing, God is everywhere. God is in the flowers, the birds, the wind, and most importantly, God is in us and our brothers and sisters. Our faith journeys are all about questions, doubts, and fears, but what we must recognize is that God loves us through it all. God will not turn away from us, even if we chose at times to turn away from God. After all, God sent Moses to help the "imprudent and stubborn" people of Israel (Ezekel 2:4.) They had perhaps turned away, and still God came to rescue them. I believe it is much the same with us. God's loving presence surrounds us constantly - what a comforting thought.